Writing For Self Realization

I think that a question that all writers must put to themselves from time to time is Why do I write? Is it to earn more money? Is it in order to win fame and recognition? Is it to do the second and third lines of the Work? Or is it just to help the ‘real I’ in myself come into being? Do I write for self-realization?

I have never earned a single penny from any writing that I have done. When PublishAmerical published two of my novels, Tasting the White Water and Sunday Mornings, I figured that I had finally made it, that in a couple of years I would be rolling in the dough. Even though they did not charge a penny for publishing my work, I ended up losing money in my seven-year association with them. I bought a number of my novels at discount for book sales, left a dozen of each at local bookstores, and gave away more copies than I sold.

When Brown Paper Publishing asked if they could print excerpts of my novel, Driving Cab, in their literary journal, Predicate and informed me that they would publish Driving Cab in several months, again I thought I could just kick back and wait for the money to start flowing in. Brown Paper lost their main monetary backer and had to cancel their publishing schedule. And, Driving Cab is back in the bottom drawer.

I have written a hundred and seventy some hubs for Hubpages with the expectation that after a hundred or so hubs, I would be earning some five hundred dollars a month or so from Goggle and Amazon ads. So far, I have earned something like seventeen dollars and eight cents.

Do I write in order to earn money? Maybe I do, but if that is my motivation, it is beginning to look more and more remote.

Do I write in order to win praise and fame, to reinforce my false personality and self-love? I don’t really think so. I don’t think that my self-love runs in that direction. I don’t think that I would want the responsibility that fame would bring to me. I have always had a very hard time promoting my writing, and do not like going to book signings or author events.

Do I write to do the second and third lines of work? In the Work there are three lines on work that one must do. The first is work on oneself, seeing that one is asleep, and forming Observing I to observe ones mechanical behavior. To work on oneself, you must see that you are a machine, look at the broken and rusted parts and do what you can do to free your self from all conditioning.

The second line of work is helping others in the Work. As I am not officially in any Work group, I consider all those who are searching for a meaning to life to be in the Work. Though I have never attended a Work School, I have read and put to practice concepts from the Work for some thirty years now. I have some knowledge of the Work and I have seen how it can help one to gain an insight into ones very being. In my writing I refer to concepts of the Work, and I have given a number of detailed critiques of Work teachers. My writing can help others who recognize their sleep, and are looking for answers to the question who am I? find some answers. My writing can introduce fellow seekers of Truth to authors who have much greater knowledge than I.

The third line of work is work to help spread the teachings of the Work, work for the Work. In my writing I do discuss what I have learned from the Work. My novels, short stories, and articles have introduce ideas of the Work to many, or at least a few, readers who have never heard of Gurdjieff or Krishnmurti. In a very limited way my writing has help to spread the ideas of the Work.

Henry Miller says the purpose of writing is self-realization, bringing the self to true manhood, which, for Miller, means reaching one's full God-like potential. I have found that my writing has helped me to get a better understanding of myself. Often when I write, I discover aspects of myself that have been deeply hidden in my unconscious mind. Especially in recording and interpreting my dreams, my writing helps me to get a deeper understanding of myself.

So, my writing can be work on all three lines of work laid out in the Gurdjieff School. My writing is especially appropriate to the first line of work. When I write about concepts of the Work, I often have to reread books and commentaries from the Work in order to be able to express what these concepts mean to me. Writing about the Work gives me a deeper understanding of the Work.

Why do I write, then? It seems that the most important motivation for my writing is self-realization. It is very difficult to know oneself. Writing can be a most profound tool to bring about self-knowledge. Much of my writing is done on a sub conscious level. Many times after a period of my best writing I look at what I have written and wonder just where the thoughts came from. I often do not believe that it is I myself that wrote the words that I read.

Of course, the Work says that that we have not one ‘I’ but many ‘I’s that can pop up at any time. Some of my writer ‘I’s are remote from the imaginary ‘I’ that ‘I’ think of as myself. When I am in a deep writing state I am able to tap hidden resources that help me to get a deeper understanding of myself. In many ways then, writing can help those who take writing seriously to awaken from sleep and bring about self- realization or self-evolution.

The Work says that man was created as a self evolving creature that can reach a higher level of consciousness and being if he makes a super effort. For some of us writing is a part of the super effort that we must make in order to evolve to the level of conscious man.